Friday, August 8, 2014

"The Before" (Part 1)

Several months after being diagnosed with T1D, I wrote a series of descriptive narratives based on the events surrounding my diagnosis. It was like nothing that had ever happened to me before, and so it resulted in these creative... whatever-you-want-to-call-thems. You could say I puked up my emotions onto a page, but I like to think these "stories" evolved a little more beautifully than that. Either way, it felt good to get it out, and this was how it came out, and now I'm deciding to share it on the Internet, so yeah. Enjoy. 

P.S.- If you're a new diabetic, I encourage you to do this sort of thing, too. Not the sharing on the Internet thing, necessarily. But getting your emotions out (about ANY transition in your life, health-related or not) is simply the best thing to do sometimes. So I encourage you to find a way to do that, and then do it. 

I sit here. Numb. Cold. Sleepy. The music usually sounds lovely, but today choir practice is grating on my nerves. I just want to go home. I slump lower in my chair. Mom forced me to go. Well, not forced. But she didn’t want me to miss anything, so it’s all for my good. Besides, she doesn’t know how bad I feel. It’s probably just a little cold. Everyone has gotten sick this winter, so now it’s finally my turn. But I’ve never had a cold this bad before. I just want to sleep. Everything seems hazy and foggy. Charlotte sits beside me, singing beautifully, probably wondering my in the world I’m not. I can’t. My throat hurts and even though I’ve drank what seems like gallons of water today, I can’t seem to clear it. It feels thick and heavy. No, there is no way I’m singing today. Ouch. A headache’s starting. All this music, probably. I just want to get out of here. I could go to the bathroom and sit in a stall. No, this seat is more comfortable. I thought about calling Mom and asking her to come get me, but we only have another half hour of practice left. I can do it. I can make it through. Then it’s home and relaxation. Pizza and a movie with the family. Presents. Did I forget to mention, it’s my 16th birthday?

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